Planning all the things

image via we heart it

I barely slept last night as my mind was busy planning all the things. Most pressing at the moment is my friend’s picnic bachelorette party, which is nestled snugly between another friend’s party to celebrate her spring elopement and a bridal shower.

The organization of this party has been a little silly from the get-go, the details of which are not important, but the end result of the silliness is me having to put on a 30-person* BBQ in the park basically by myself. Next Sunday. I’m a doer and I rarely ask for help (see: my wedding), but I’m not blind to the fact that getting all the gear to the park to host a giant BBQ and setting it up will take more than me and my dear, oh so helpful husband. So for once, I’ve actually been recruiting help (go me!)… and getting shot down (go me, alone!). Yesterday, after two attempts to get help were met with wishy-washiness and non-promises, I started to get overwhelmed. Today luckily I did find a couple of people who can help on the day, which gets me closer to making this manageable, but I’m still feeling a bit… well, frustrated.

This party is for a friend who would pick any one of us up at the airport, at midnight, through a hailstorm, carry your bags, and then offer you hot tea and snacks when you got in the car. And make you laugh your head off the whole ride home. I don’t understand why people are not jumping up and down to make this the best party on earth. She is always the one organizing things for other people – she deserves to have the most amazing party thrown for her. And I’m afraid I’m going to let her down. At this point, I just don’t have a lot of time left to devote to making it special, as I’m so busy making it happen.

To be honest, last night when I got my latest “I can’t promise anything” email and sat there with John sorting through the logistics (buying and preparing the food, the decorations, the cutlery, picking up the rented canopy [our rain plan, which it looks like we might need], the BBQ, the activities), I sunk into martyrdom territory. Nothing like self-righteous indignation to help you plow through tough times! The people I was counting on to help do have their reasons for not being able to, most very understandable, though some also not. I know I could probably reach out to some of the other guests on her list who I don’t personally know and ask for their help, but sometimes a whole lot of undirected help can actually make things worse. So I’ll stick to being targeted and trying to make sure I have a core group of about 4 people on the day who I know I can count on.

When it comes to parties, many people are full of talk but don’t realize the devil is in the execution. That’s a lesson that a wedding will teach you, HARD. Now that my requests for help have gotten shot down, the temptation is to just let myself sink deep into that pit of martyrdom where suggestions and genuine offers of help don’t reach. Someone has to make sure this party goes without a (major) hitch, and I know that person has to be me. My goal for the next week is to be all right with that and not sink so far down the pit as to not be able to accept a hand if it is offered.

But if something has to go, it’ll be that, because I’m not compromising on the party itself.

*Rough estimate since most people haven’t actually RSVP’d though the invite went out weeks ago. Hey, can you actually smell the frustration on me yet?


Posted on July 18, 2011, in Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. yiiiikes. that is the worst, especially when the party is for such a giving person. wish I could help! it’s going to be special and awesome though, I know you will pull off something great.

  2. Ohhh, sending all the support. But you can do it, try to make lists and delegate as much as possible, and keep things simple. Like d day said it will be great :) Hugs

    • Thanks… I’m all over the lists and am trying to get on the delegating…. but I’ll admit, I totally have my back up now so it’s a challenge.

  3. Oh boy. I hear you! Fingers crossed.

    Also, why doesn’t every single person have to read Miss Manners as a child? I think having a firm base of “this is rude” is kind of necessary. If being late is rude in my family but not in yours, but hugs are rude in your family but not in mine, we KIND OF NEED TO KNOW THAT. One universal rule of rude, though: Not RSVP’ing.


  4. Ugh, appalling! People are flakes. Lazy ones at that. I totally get why you can’t help but feel that it’s you against the world this week, lady. I’m crossing my fingers that folks come through in the end. Good luck!

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