Extreme Makeover: Marriage Edition
This weekend John and I took on a project in the house that we have been putting off for quite a while because of the associated cost and pain-in-the-ass factor. Redoing some flooring, you might ask? Putting in a new appliance of some kind? Oh no, we’re talking about hanging up curtains. Yes, curtains.
Now, in our defence it is for a BAY window, which makes it harder. There are corner pieces to be purchased and rods to be screwed together, so that added at least umm, a few minutes. Ok so it wasn’t that much harder. There were obstacles, I swear!
If you saw us Sunday night you’d think we had just hung curtains in every window in the city. And then fought a war. We were exhausted and I crawled into bed at 9:30pm – which with springing forward meant it was really 8:30pm in my head.
Obviously, we are kind of pathetic when it comes to renovations in the house and it keeps surprising me just how pathetic we are. We are handy, we are not scared of a little manual labour, and we generally work together pretty well. We can even build IKEA furniture without throwing any allen keys! But add an actual screw-driver into the mix and we become two insolent teenagers competing for the title of “Most Attitude for Least Provocation.”
To give you an example of our total incompetence, John and I were nearly beaten by a bathroom fan installation. It took us weeks, countless trips to Home Depot and a lot of angry swearing – at each other, at inanimate objects, and at the unfairness of poorly coordinating duct-work. In the end we did succeed – we did not cancel the wedding and our bathroom fan no longer sounds like a jet taking off (credit goes to John, my backseat reno-work turned out not to be helpful). However, the second bathroom fan that we are supposed to install is still sitting in storage in its original packaging about a year later. Frankly we’re just not sure we can take it.
Just to throw salt onto the wound, John’s family are all pretty hardcore renovators. Hardcore meaning one of his sisters and her husband are adding an extension to their house, including a whole new floor, and doing most of the work themselves. The other sister and her husband just built a patio and redid their bathroom. And that’s just in the last year. This family resource does mean we have access to essential tools, know-how and assistance. But it also means we could never hire someone to do our reno work for us if we want to be able to hold up our heads at the family dinner table again.
Luckily our place is not decrepit, just suffering from a case of the eighties. Our en-suite bathroom with its patterned blue accent tiles is first on the list, as it is also suffering the effects of eternally high humidity and kinda smells like mold. It needs to be completely gutted – toilet and tiles and all – and I am scared of what we’ll find under all that.
So before we get started we’ll need to do lots of planning – priorities include a well stocked supply of beer/wine and the numbers of some good marriage counselors.