And to think someone gave me a mortgage

It’s been kind of a shitty week. Not in any meaningful way, just in a job-and-life-conspiring-to-make-you-pull-your-hair-out kinda way. I have not been helping my own case. See despite being a total control freak in nearly all aspects of my life, I cannot for the life of me keep track of the only three things that I need to carry with me on a daily basis: keys, cell phone, and wallet. Just three little, itty, bitty things. Seems so simple – even people who think Obama is a secret Muslim manage to do this on a daily basis! But just try and reach me on my cell phone – chances are it’s dead or then fully charged in my other jacket pocket. Or perhaps offer me a service, such as a massage, and attempt to acquire your pay in return – quite possibly my wallet will have magically disappeared from my purse where it should be!*

So this morning when I realized I had left my wallet sitting on my desk at work overnight I was not terribly surprised. It was no big deal – I collected a pile of dimes and quarters from the bowl at the entryway to pay for the bus and skipped off with a jingly, heavy pocket. Insert long day at work, lots of stats, blah blah blah.

It wasn’t until on the way home that I realized the chain reaction I had set off with that forgotten wallet. You see all that jingly change in my pocket replaced the usual jingle that should be there – my keys. They weren’t in my purse either no matter how hard I searched, hoping against hope that a secret key had sneaked into one of the pockets while I wasn’t looking. Fuck fuck fuck. I have been dreading this day: I leave before John in the mornings and do not need to lock the door on my way out so I knew forgetting my keys was only a matter of time. Of all the days to pick, this was not a good one:

– John has been under a daunting deadline and working late every night this week. Today is no exception as the deadline is tomorrow. He wasn’t going to be home until 7 pm at the earliest and it was 4:30 pm.

– He works a half hour drive away – minimum.

– I had a puppy inside really wishing for company and a walk.

– It’s -1°C outside – that’s 30°F for those of you below the 49th parallel.

I had no choice but to call in my life-line as I hung my head in shame – at least I had a charged cell phone with me for once.

Here’s the thing, when I broke the news to John that his wife is a complete failure in the adult world and he would have to interrupt his mountain of work to come rescue her, he didn’t even groan. He drove home in rush-hour traffic to let me into the house, quickly ate the guilt-sushi I had bought, gave me hugs, then drove back to work where he will likely be until some ungodly hour tonight. I can’t honestly say I would be that nice.

Somehow the sink full of dirty dishes, overflowing reycling bins, and stinky garbage that had me in a blind rage at him last night don’t seem so bad now. I think I gots me a good one. Husband that is, not brain.

*Luckily my massage therapist is nice and let me phone in my credit card number. The next day, with my face still burning from embarrassment, I brought her a tin of my favourite tea and a card that I hope screamed I am a responsible adult – I swear!!!


Posted on February 24, 2011, in Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. 1) I’m below the 49th parallel! Thanks for the conversion.

    2) Wow, you are so thoughtful to give her a tin of tea and a card. I know you feel embarrassed, but I think this is enough of a solid gesture to ease any worries she might have had — not that she had any.

    3) Oh, he’s a good egg. What a great partner to have — and honestly, I will drive through rush hour traffic for sushi any day. So, you know, the next time you need to call in a favor….

    4) HA!

  2. That is a damn good partner right there!

    I do this all of the time–mostly losing my cell. It drives C crazy which makes me roll my eyes because he gets up and puts wallet-keys-phone into his pockets the second he wakes up and takes them out only to put on his nightstand. I have a purse full of stuff, no set working area…it’s ok to lose my phone occasionally. :)

    Loved the Obama/secret Muslim crack. As in it just made my day!

  3. Hey! Thanks for dropping by my blog. Hopefully you liked the advice column from Dr. Mallei. Unfortunately both the questions have been written in by my fiance, but so it goes. ;)
    How old is your dog? Ours is 7, so figures he’s wise enough to answer the tough questions, sometimes. Sometimes he just wants to chase sticks.

    We have about 3 spare keys smattered about the place just incase we forget. So far so good we haven’t had to use them (maybe once), but husbands are there to come rescue you when you need it, right!? Otherwise, what am I signing up to this marriage thing for? ;)

    • Cassie is only 6 months old so she has about the wisdom of a tennis ball. Maybe I’ll ask her to write in a question, I think she could use some guidance in life.

      Smart on leaving a key stashed, we keep meaning to do that… maybe this is the incentive that’ll finally get us to do it.

      • “Wisdom of a tennis ball” – Awesome.
        We have a kitten now, so we’re experiencing the joys of baby-animal-parenthood as well.
        Certainly somebody should write in a classes. He does love donning his ‘I know things’ hat. ;)
        I’ve added you to my reader as well, particularly after reading part 2 of expecting a puppy (& Cassie is VERY cute, BTW)

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